15 April 2020
In this episode, he and Eric discuss his new book, Tiny Habits: The Small Changes that Change Everything. There is so much practical, applicable wisdom in this episode. If you have any changes you want to make, any habits you’d like to start in your life, this episode could be a game-changer for you. In it, you’ll learn the “how-to” when it comes to the science of behaviour change. It is a skill you can learn, even if you’ve struggled to make changes in your life before. And the best news? It’s incredibly do-able – if you know how.
· How you feed your good wolf (two wolves inside of everyone good and bad). It is about making a conscious decision.
· People change most effectively by feeling good – lasting changes are created this way.
· Avoid self-trash talk. In general people are feeling discouraged and beat-up with a negative cloud over things. Fundamentally important to treat yourself as a friend. Think of the example of a baby walking you don’t criticise it every time it falls – you continue with encouragement. Have the philosophy it’s no big deal when you stumble keep going.
· Stop creating products and programs that set people up for failure. If you don’t change as required it’s because you haven’t been given the right tools – it’s not a moral failing.
· What doesn’t work well is abstractions e.g I am stressed at work so I want to become not stressed. The right way is what is the smallest habit or action that will give you that outcome. Therefore, once you have identified the next step (abstract) break down into the specific behaviours that you would need to accomplish. This is the breaking down into tiny habits.
· Don’t react to the things that don’t go your way (don’t obsess or over analyse) example given of knocking a glass of water over at a talk and just carrying on rather than asking for a towel etc.
· Embrace mistakes as discoveries there is no such thing as perfection – slips are inevitable don’t let this derail you or damage your belief. Mistakes are just part of the process e.g you would never learn French if you stopped everytime you made a mistake. Often the issue can arise when applied to a new context e.g when learning French you meet a fluent French speaker and find it hard to understand what they are saying – often this can then lead to negative feelings and giving up e.g I’m no good a French – instead view this as a learning opportunity to grow and keep developing rather than being too hard on yourself.
· Motivation and ability have a relationship with each other (the harder something is the more motivation you need). Motivation and ability of a compensatory relationship if one is weak the other needs to be strong.
· Motivating someone and making a behaviour easy to do. When a behaviour is not happening most people jump to the motivation. Instead start with a “prompt” e.g have you sent out a reminder to support the person, then move to “ability” simplify the task or break down into simple parts and lastly if it’s still not happening you are looking at a motivation issue.
· To break down a behaviour issue ask what’s making it hard to do e.g time. Start by skilling the person up (training) and then move to scale it back and make it much smaller. When you scale it back you are no longer relying on motivation anymore and success can be achieved.
· Example given about scaling back to two push-ups rather than 1.30hr in the gym allow yourself to feel good about even the smallest successes and this will have a ripple effect. It’s about planting a tiny seed, put it in a good spot and allowing it to grow through nurturing and celebrating.
· Success leads to success within the domain and will have side effects and multiplication of the habit. However, it is a process where the roots must be established (no matter how small or low bar) which is the core habit. Example given of starting with meditating 3 minutes a day which ultimately grew to 30mins. Where struggling drop back down to keep the habit going.
· Think about where a new habit fits naturally within your day. Once you have developed motivation and skill in a habit it can be transplanted to another area to expand more. Give yourself recognition each time you achieve your habit no matter how smal
Posted by David Hilton